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| A while ago, I had the dream of owning my own business. Involving Web Design and PC Repair. Now I am sitting here in my mother's house jobless with a child. I am applying to multiple jobs everyday with no reply and in the mean time I am teaching gymnastics periodically for money. So I have been thinking about this and I am going to go through with this dream, as such I have been playing with templates. To be honest I realized something that has been eating at me. It is fear. I have been scared that I will fail. I do this with pretty much everything. I have the knowledge about the subject and yet I balk. I am beginnning to wonder if God has not put me in this position so that I will learn to actually follow through on those decisions. So that I will actually become a man. Not a dreamer that just sits and thinks about the what if. Soooooooo, I have said this to say that I will not take this time that I have sitting down in the mental sense. I am learning C#, I am working on those websites, I will find a way to make money for my family even if it is not a corporate job, and I will take the steps to make my way into this world. I am at the bottom all I can do is go up, well that and die. But I think, even that is better than living at my mom's house.
Adios
Preacher of Death
ps. I am sick
p.s.s. I have the cutest daughter in the whole world, no matter what you say.
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| I am awake and still awaiting for sleep to come out and take me out of this reality. I like sleep, because I like dreams. They are so fun, even the scary ones are interesting when I look back at them from a distance. I used to like to control my dreams and conform them to whatever I felt like seeing at the time like a big virtual reality. However, I have found of late that is tiring and boring. It is more of a challenge to sit and see what happens in them.
Anyways Have a good one and enjoy your morning.
Preacher of Death
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| So it turns out that I was wrong about two things, the first and foremost is what month my daughter was born in, it is Oct not, Nov, thanks Liz. And yes, I am that absentminded about dates and birthdays. The Second thing is that no one reads this post anymore. Apparently there are two that read it and wished to comment on it. Liz and Aaron. Anyways I was just typing this because I was waiting on something else to load and it is finished and I can go back to sleep.
Adios
Preacher of Death
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| So I am waiting on my installation of my Visual C# Studio on this laptop and I thought, "hey, why don't I post a xanga", anyways I hope that everything is going well with everyone out there. Though I know that no one reads this post anymore. It is often like typing to a dead world on these types of things when you have not been on in a while. I have a new daughter and her name is Ariadne Psyche Thomas, she was born in Nov, and to be honest I am never sure about dates so I am not taking a chance at guessing. I quit my job and I now am not really doing anything except for applying to other jobs and working on random things. But it does give me extra time with my daughter and wife. My wife is still the fantastic creature that I originally married and still just as confusing. But I think that my installation is done now. and even if it isn't I can still play FFXII until it is. lol
Adios
Preacher of Death
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| So anyways, I am lonely. However, it is in a way that I have never expected. I miss having friends, I have a wonderful wife that fills every need that she is able to however, there are other needs that can not filled by a wife and that would be the friendship that comes from another male. This brotherhood that is often made mention of by many things in our culture. I don't have that. anyways bye
Preacher of Death
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